Toxic Positivity: When Being ‘Too Positive’ Becomes Emotionally Harmful

You are in a quiet café, sitting at a table. The cheerful noises from the city come from outside; the lights of the city are flickering. The person at your table is going through their phone and stops at a post: “Good vibes only! Life’s too short for negative energy.” You give a polite smile—but what is going on inside you is the opposite. Because though it seems harmless, there is something about that phrase that feels heavy. This is the paradox of toxic positivity: a constant promotion to be cheerful that finally leads to the suppression of all your emotions.

In most parts of Asia and in many parts of the world, we are taught to be strong and brave. At the same time, we consider positivity and optimism to be good traits. But what if positivity becomes a mandatory thing? Would it still be appreciated? What if the communication says, “It’s okay to feel how you feel,” and then suddenly it changes to, “You must feel good now”? This is when Shipp and Hall (2024) refer to emotional harm beginning.

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the situation where the person undergoing it has to bear cheerful and positive attitudes as the only alternative, even if the circumstances are unfavorable, thereby rejecting or belittling truly negative feelings (Anxiety & Depression Association of America, 2022). Healthy optimism, on the one hand, recognizes the struggle and resistance alongside the hardship—the other way around, positivity denies all discomfort. It is the emotional equivalent of putting a smiley-face sticker over a crack in the wall.

The latest studies have demonstrated that, besides negative emotions being suppressed, the person maintaining a positive appearance will undergo increased psychological distress, emotional dissonance, and even burnout (Apriyanto & Hidayati, 2025; Lau & Saili, 2024). Thus, the less pleasant the situation becomes, the quicker the person's positive attitude loses its effectiveness and even ends up leaving the person more drained than before.

The Emotional Cost of Forced Positivity

The constant rejection of negative feelings leads to the triggering of various harmful mechanisms:

Emotional suppression: The act of pushing away negative emotions like sadness, anger, or fear can lead to a negative impact on mental health and also cause higher stress and fatigue (Shipp & Hall, 2024).

Invalidation: If someone is going through a tough time and is advised, “Just stay positive!”, the person might even feel guilty for not coping well with the situation (Verywell Mind, 2020).

Reduced resilience: Struggling with hardships fosters resilience, but using toxic positivity denies that step (Wyatt, 2024).

Social disconnection: People do not share true problems in an environment or company that enforces a cheerful attitude because they think they will be perceived as weak (Lau & Saili, 2024).

In fast-moving cities such as Hong Kong, where cultural traits demand and value people’s composure and success, the pressures of social expectations become especially unbearable. The outer layer of “everything is good” usually becomes a cover for severe emotional exhaustion (EBSCO Research Starters, 2025).

How to Recognize Toxic Positivity

When you are living in an environment where only positive things are accepted, then a few typical indicators will be as follows:

• You experience a sense of guilt if you display sadness, anger, or fear.

• Someone brings up death; you respond with “Could be worse” or “Look on the bright side.”

• You pretend to be happy and suppress your feelings because you think that otherwise, it will be treated as taking good fortune for granted.

• You do not have any sincere talks about stress or disappointments simply because they are too hard to bear.

All these are signs of positivity that has turned from being merely supportive to becoming a sort of tyrant (Allina Health, 2024).

Gentle Remedies: Embracing Authentic Positivity

Getting rid of toxic positivity does not necessarily imply giving up on optimism—it implies the existence of a true self side by side with a hopeful self. Go for it and use these calming wellness methods:

1. Everyday Wellness RitualsCheck-in breathwork: Inhale for four counts, hold for one, and then exhale for six. Ask yourself, “How am I really feeling?”

Journaling: Write spontaneously about the unwelcome feelings without applying any negative judgment (Apriyanto & Hidayati, 2025).

Mindful breaks: Leave behind the motivational content that is forced. Just be yourself.

2. Emotional Wellness & Mental ClarityValidate before uplifting: When it hurts and a person tells you about it, you should first say, “That sounds hard,” and only then give the person words of encouragement (The Washington Post, 2025).

Feel your feelings: Emotions such as sadness or anger bring important insights. Letting them in is an opening to true healing (Wyatt, 2024).

3. Sustainable & Conscious LivingCurate your environment: Follow people and communities who achieve the right amount of imperfect living and promote it instead of perfect living.

Practice self-compassion: Swap “I should feel happy” for “I am just doing my best today.”

4. Community and Retreat ConnectionThink about a weekend off the grid by Mellow Active in the New Territories—one day of conscious writing and light yoga accompanied by people who are expressing their unvarnished and real feelings. One participant remarked, “I found out I was only pretending that my anxiety was gone. For the first time, I allowed myself to not be okay—and that was liberating.”

Such places shine a light on the fact that sincerity, not forced happiness, is where peace comes from.

When to Reach Out

If you feel that toxic positivity has left you to suffer in silence, feeling ashamed or cut off from your feelings, then it is time to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapists who specialize in emotional regulation can show you how to process emotions in a healthy manner without resorting to suppression (Shipp & Hall, 2024).

A Call to Authenticity

Pause. Feel your breath. Ask yourself: What am I really feeling right now?

It’s okay if the answer isn’t “happy.” Your emotions—every one of them—are valid and human. True wellness is not about endless smiles; it’s about embracing your whole, beautifully imperfect self.

Choose honesty over the illusion of positivity. That’s where real calm begins.

References

Allina Health. (2024, April 23). Toxic positivity: When “good vibes” hurt mental health. Allina Health.

Anxiety & Depression Association of America. (2022). Toxic positivity.

Apriyanto, A., & Hidayati, L. (2025). Evolusi toxic positivity dalam penelitian kesehatan mental. Sanskara Ilmu Sosial dan Humaniora.

EBSCO Research Starters. (2025). Toxic positivity.

Lau, U. M., & Saili, J. B. (2024). Toxic positivity and its role among young adult workers. Journal of Cognitive Sciences and Human Development, 10(1), 50–71.

Shipp, H. G., & Hall, K. C. (2024). Analyzing the concept of toxic positivity for nursing: A dimensional analysis approach. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 80(4), 1023–1035.

The Washington Post. (2025, May 24). “Toxic positivity” denies real feelings. Here’s how to do better.

Verywell Mind. (2020, December 31). Why toxic positivity can be harmful.

Wyatt, Z. (2024). The dark side of #PositiveVibes: Understanding toxic positivity in modern culture. Psychiatry & Behavioral Health, 3(1), 1–6.